THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

Hey there♥️

It’s been so long and my blog has been so dry. Didn’t have the time to post anything but lately my life has been going up and down, like a crazy roller coaster ride. It’s hard to find words to put up on what i am going through and it sucks to be going through this situation. Thought i was strong enough for this but when lonely time comes, i breakdown so easily. Gathering  myself up to brace through the day seeing my friends and family, was not easy but at the end of the day, i tried my best to hide my weakness. Something happened and it was only the first month of the year 2020 and I didn’t see this coming.

25th Of January 2020 is when i have loss someone who I truly and deeply love, my dad. The one who is full of knowledge and truly such a legend person, so fragile yet so tough but a very shy person. When i was a little girl, I had a lot of father and daughter moments with him. I remember he was always there when my mum is busy working. He would do anything to make me happy, all the time. He never fails to bring me to places like parks or gardens and take photo with his personal film camera. That is his favourite type of camera, always. He would always bring me to my grandparent’s house, they will give me some money and my dad would never fail to bring me to toy shop to buy anything that i want. My parents never really show that we were poor because the way they show love and care is really enough for us. They would buy us things that we want with what they have just to make us all of my siblings happy and satisfied.

Before he left us, he spend a whole month in the hospital. Maybe he knows that he might be gone soon but he tried his best to left some things behind so that we have some pieces of him to feel that he is with us. He came back at Friday night and we saw how he was, weak and lifeless but we think about the positive side. The next morning, I heard my mom kept on tapping my dad's chest as he was not responding to her. I quickly grab my phone and called the ambulance and seeing his condition, it was terrible. As we reached the emergency at the hospital, the doctors keep on updating us and told us they really tried  their best to do what they can and have given the strongest antibiotics to him.

The doctor said they will push him to the normal ward and I kept thinking why they never  brought them to ICU instead. As I reached to the ward, I saw him on the bed, lifeless. I was still confused about the whole situation but I let it go.  Few mins later the doctor came and advise us to  be mentally and emotionally prepared. I was not prepared. When  the doctor left, 5mins later I saw him did not move and his breathing  has stopped. I told my mum, why he is not breathing and she called the nurses to check on him. As they were checking, they did not said anything. I knew what happened but I just could not say anything until my mom asked and forced the nurse to tell her what happened, he just said, he's not there.

Everything happened so fast.

I miss him every single day and I wish I could make him happy on his last days with us. I know he is in the better place up there with my late sister.

I miss them both, very much. ❤

Al-fatehah❤




Nur Fatimah

APART OF LIFE

Hey there ❤

Have you ever wonder what makes your life happy or what things that you enjoyed the most? Or maybe you never thought what you do can be something that can actually be apart of your life but when it's time to let go, you have to let it go and see where it flows and if in the future if it is meant for you to be apart of it again, it will be it.

I will never thought music will mean so much to me ever since I entered my college life. I never knew why I took percussion as my extra activities in my school but training after training, I survived through all the blood and sweat. It have taught me well and have brought me to big stages that is the best memories and experience I get to bring in my life. I really hold on so dearly to my heart and if i had the chance  once again, I will definitely do it in a heartbeat.

Being apart of this really brings me places that I would never thought I would enjoyed. I will never know that are a lot of talented local performers in Singapore. Watching my favourite local bands gives me an escape from reality and it feels amazing.

I think all of us must find something that can make us escape from our chaotic and negative life, something that can make us get away from all things that has been stressing us out. Do something that we will love and we will do it with our whole heart.


Nur Fatimah

BACK TO SQUARE ONE

Hello there ❤

It's been awhile since I last posted my previous post. I really wanna try something new for myself but I can't find the perfect time to update my blog. Things have been going well, I guess but when I was about to start my short holiday from work, my foot starting hurt like shaaaaat.

I wanna share about the thing we all might be going through in life. Have you ever found someone who just "click" with you but suddenly you have to let go of that person? Be it if we have to let them go because they have dreams to chase after, or your relationship is fine but the surrounding it's just not for them and they have to let go of everything or maybe the common thing that we will face, it's when things are not meant to be the way that we wanted it to be?

It's really hard to adapt to something that we have hold on to it so dearly and suddenly you have to let it go but on the other hand we have good memories about them to remember, something to hold on dearly. I am really thankful to have met those people in life and I really enjoy making great memories with those people.

Maybe, it's okay to let them go. Life must move on and create beautiful memories with the current love ones. It would be waste to grieve for too long and we did spend time with our love ones. It really hurts to be left hanging or to let go of someone who have created those moments and memories with you but you'll never know, maybe there are better things are coming.

Focus on ourselves more and bring positive vibes in your life. It will be hard to let go but it would be a waste to delay what's coming to us. Be thankful of what we have and it's okay to let things go of we have hold on to it for so long. Welcome the new life and live life to the fullest and learn things that you never get the chance to do it.

Nur Fatimah

A NEW START

Hello there❤

I guess, this will be a new start for me to do some blogging on my page. My English sucks so please bare with me. So I thought of doing something new for myself to write about my day or maybe something that I wanna share on my blog so that people can read about it.

One thing that I love to do the most is photography. I don't have the chance to go any class for photography but I would watch a lot of tutorials or just edit to my own preference. I have my two favourite cameras, SONY A5000 and SONY G5X. Sometimes, I would just use my iPhone 6s Plus to get a quick shot. My favourite editing app will be VSCO. Feel free to browse on my VSCO site so u can view on my shots and I'm not really good at taking some shots but this is what I love to do when I have my free time.

Still adapting to this blogging site, will update when I feel that I have a completed my page.
Thank you for taking your time to read this, I really appreciate it.

Nur Fatimah